floor Blog and Journals

Will you’ve finally killed me are you happy you threw me in a cell and left me to die without your love you said you would never leave me alone to hurt myself I guess you lied to me because I’m sitting on the bathroom floor with a slit whisk and good-bye-letter
See you soon

Yeah, my little sister dropped my computer on the floor and the screen got completely messed up!
It'll be like 3 weeks until I'll know if it's going to get fixed or if I just need to buy a new computer.
Grr.
Anywayy, see you all in three weeks
lawl
:]]

I make the dumbest choices... I really do... I'm stressing out so much at the moment about school work - my hairs been falling out.  if mum didn't say anything about it I wouldn't have noticed all the hair on the floor under my desk and in the bathroom.. I always feel so tired.. I can barely sleep and my unrealiable Ipod has no sympathy sometimes either - dying on me when I need it the most.. I cannot go to sleep without listening to it, but it's gotten better now, and doesn't freeze and die on me for no reason...

Now, with school life being of no good and my English (the subject) making me think of stupid things like hanging myself but then thinking that would be horrible for my parents to see me if I was like that, you know?

I feel a bit disturbed.  I know I jumped out in front of a bus once, in fron of my dad and friend of so many years... it wasn't a deliberate attempt to die I swear... it's just that I could of, but i didn't - there was more to life than Forest Lake College.

That school was the worst thing that happened to me.. I was suppressed...  I mean, I still kinda am, but at least if I feel like it I can do things, you know?

Not wanting to live at the moment has also taken a toll on the other important side of my life, I guess you could refer to it as "family" life or whatever, I can't say because it is too personal for me, but I don't feel people should have to stick around when I'm in such depressed moods... It sucks I know... how can I feel like myself agian?

Why do I feel so ill sometimes?  Emotionally ill, and then I just become pyhsically ill as well.

Deep down, I know that I don't want to die... I KNOW that... but I don't FEEL it...

I hope things are not too late...